Diary

Diary

(I close my eyes and I still see your face...)

Blood scars the opened eyes
A growing tension still undenied
I wish I could tell you
How you burned me up
Do I need to apologize for being alive

You put all the blame on me
Yet I hurt myself more then you
And your lies ever could
I can't keep falling
Painting red tears over my memories

Then I wake up bleeding, Ashamed...
Soft tender drips
Of cries I taste on my lips

But if I remain silent, I let myself be eaten away
Creating the illusions too slowly tear myself apart
So I tried so hard to take a stand towards my past
But as sanity fades, I found I was let astray again

And I got a little bit bend
And then I am back inside the lie
Please don't ask me why
Because listening to
The silence has no meaning in the end

Self-defying, self denying, It's building up so steadily
Is there someone there who can save me from..... me

Yes I hide when I cry, fade my pain underneath a smile
Cause I wonder why they are loosing faith in my words
I doubt speaking my mind because I cling to my honesty
Afraid beauty will die if caught inside your closed eyes

It's hard to take the pressure
I called out and nobody listened
Did it force you to make a decision
Confusing my screams with desperate measures
But I don't recall how it feels to stop running
I just don't know what is wrong with me

It doesn't matter anymore, they never saw what you did
Crawling in my skin, it hurts my will to keep fighting
Stabbed in my back, my eyes are covered with Did I's
Whatever the consequences for you, I seem to live with

(whispers:)
I began to doubt me,
Slowly I started to drift and I fell
I forgot the person I am, forgot I matter
My fear is to make that mistake once more
But your childhood influences I now set free
Know with certaintity I'll come back from this
I'll pick up the pieces of a life you tore apart

Nice use of words again, I have no comments at all. I am curious however (assuming this is a lyric) how it would sound.